200 Posts Later!

Wow. I remember back in like, Summer of 2009, I was perusing some porn sites and happened upon Blogger.com.

After seeing what it was all about, I thought to myself  "hmmm, I could get into this"...

My first few posts were just pictures.

Then gradually writing little captions and whatnot.

Eventually, I started blogging about my life, accompanied by pics.

It snowballed into something fabulous and the rest, as they say, is history.
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I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point, Blogging just became a "given". It became a part of my life before I even knew it.

Here I am. 3 years and 200 Posts Later--

Thanking all of ya'll for the questions, comments, emails, networking etc.

It has been one HELLUVA cathartic activity for me when the world is going crazy.

As ya'll know, I'm not "out", so other than Blogger, there wasn't (and still isn't) anywhere for me to express my feelings/fetishes/desires/blah blah blah.

So real talk: if I didn't have this blog, I'd be in some asylum in a straight-jacket (pun intended).
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There's no where to go but UP from here!

I know I've been kinda distant lately but I've just been so busy with school, church, and Rob.

Plus I'm HELLA considering starting a Vlog... I just don't want it to be an epic fail, ya know?

(oh, btw, the new guy for the background of this blog is Mr. XL aka Adonis Jay)
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Music, you say?

(OMG A$AP is SEXY AS F____ to me!)

Don't take my word for it. Click the link below. And look at these pics:

Purple Swag -- A$AP Rocky (yeah, I want to basically break the laws of nature and carry his children). Plus, he's got a New York styled-rap, with down South chopped-n-screwed beats. And let's face it: every now and then, you just wanna hear some gritty lyrics... (at least I do)

Pretty Young Thing (P.Y.T.) -- Michael Jackson -- Newsflash: it used to be cool to fall in love with someone other than your own self...

Rock the Boat -- Aaliyah (work the middle!)

The Way I Am -- Ingrid Michaelson I love her trendy, hipster lil self... Her lyrics are always cute

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-_Cogito

Capricornaries@hotmail.com

Coming Out... (?)

(DAMN that dude in the first pic is fine as hell!) 


In a perfect world, I could be an openly gay (black) minister. 

I really don't see why it's SUCH a big fucking deal, but... 

I was just kickin' it over at my boy's house, all cuddled up and watching his favorite show Law and Order. 

I wasn't really paying attention because my mind was going 110mph... 

I'm really, really, REALLY feeling Rob. I haven't felt this way about a nigga in a long time.

I know we've got something strong because its been tested and we're still together. 

And when you're in love, you want to yell it on the rooftops. 

You wanna tell the clerk at Wal-Mart

You wanna tell the guy who rings up your McNuggets at the counter... 

You wanna tell the damn Mailman... 

You wanna tell EVERYONE when you're in love! 

Especially those closest to you. 

The other day, my younger brother came to me for some love advice. And half way through it, he asked if I'd ever been in love. I got all choked up because I wanted to tell him YES NIGGA! i'M IN LOVE RIGHT NOW WITH THIS GREAT GUY AND WE'RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. 

But instead, I punked-out and directed the conversation back on him. 

I'm tired of having to lie about it. 

The only thing I need to ask myself is this: 

Do I love Rob more than I love my title (as a minister)? 

Because coming out means pretty much losing all ties with the people that I love (in church). Not only that, but I'd be the talk of the tri-state area. 

(Mind you, I've had more guys flirt with me in church than I'd EVER had in the middle of gay bars)

It's SUCH a fucked up situation. 

I know my family would be all right with it though.

And Rob's not pressuring me about it, being DL himself, but it does get kinda frustrating when we're pretty much tangled up with each other at home, but have to damn near sneak and hold hands at the movie theater. 

*sighs* 

How could something that feels so right, be so... wrong? 

Whatever. My Pizza Rolls are done so... enjoy the pics yall and help a nigga w/ some advice... 

Capricornaries@hotmail.com

-_Cogito

Nothing Even Matters...

I SWEAR I only planned on dropping by to get a can of Raviolis from his pantry. 

He was just getting out of the shower when I got there so I say to myself: 

"aaww hell, if I plan on being productive with the rest of my day, lemme grab these vittles and gtfo outta here"... 

(OldSpice Original Body Wash is my Achilles Heel, you see, especially when a nigga is in the shower with it) 

I turn around to walk from the pantry and there he is, wearing nothing but a grin, and some flip flops. 

I tried ya'll, I really tried, to leave... 

But he decided to corner me at the door. 

Smh. 

You know the rest ;) 

*sighs* 

So while I'm laid out on the bed, waiting for him to bring me a warm wash cloth, a thought occurs to me: 

WHY IS DICK SO DAMN GOOD? 

You'll put up with some pure BULLSHIT from a dude, if that dick is on point. 

Making 3AM runs to McDonalds cuz he's hungry after plowing you. 

Flatout, blatantly disrespect you to your FACE, and you KNOW you don't tolerate that, but you say 

something keeps pulling me back". (Naw nigga, that's that DICK and you know it)! 

...Or maybe that's just me... 

And mind you, I'm a self-proclaimed Vers all day long. I'll tear some ass up in a minute. I'll eat at a nigga out like its Thanksgiving. 

But Rob got me seeing stars though... 

Like, I wonder if his dick can sing Handel's Messiah? 

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Nothing Even Matters -- Lauryn Hill and D'angelo  I pity the ones who don't know what they sing about in this song. 

Wonderful Wonderful -- Johnny Mathis  they played this at the series finale of my second favorite show ever (desperate housewives) and it made me cry like the pussy I am.

You Know I'm No Good -- Amy Winehouse -- nuff said! 

Oh, btw, I'm thinking of starting a VLOG. What'dya think about that? 

Enjoy the pics! 

-_Cogito