Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Art of Hiding Porn

When I was 16, we lived in a house with a finished basement. My dad turned it into his "man cave", with a pool table, xbox, big screen, microwave/deep freezer, etc. He also built my room down there so it was all a 16 year old boy could ever ask for.

I could hear people's footsteps and tell whether or not they were walking towards the basement door and, if so, had more than enough time to exit out of any porn sites on the family computer, or take the dvd out of the xbox, etc.

On days when I decided to skip school, I'd wait for him and my stepmom to go to work, and my other siblings to go to school, and I'd have the whole house to myself.

The first thing I always did was raid my dad's room for porn.
He'd have stacks of "bootleg" DVDs with no cases... I had my favorites:

Bootytalk Vol. 63
Asian Chicks and Big Black Dicks
Spinal Tap
Oops All Anal

In retrospect, these were where I was first introduced to some of my favorite (straight) black porn stars such as: Mr. Marcus, John E. Depth, Brian Pumper, Wesley Pipes, Rico Strong...

After he found my first stash hidden at the bottom of my dresser drawer, I had to get creative and, through trial and error, eventually found the PERFECT hiding spot.

Our basement ceiling was made of those panels you could lift up and remove so I hid my stash in the upper right hand corner by the big screen speakers.

The hiding spot was so good, in fact, that when I made this last trip to Louisville earlier this summer (as seen in the "In Memoriam" post click here), I realized that I never even retrieved them before moving out a few years ago.

Lo and behold! Turns out that they were still there after all this time!

In the morning, when I was giving my dad a final goodbye hug before I hit the highway back up north, I told him that I'd left him a gift downstairs on the pool table.

Halfway on my way towards Michigan, my dad sent me a text:

"Better late than never!".
Where were some places you hid your smut as a teen?
These days, I save all of my downloads to a password-protected external hard drive at the end of each month.
Music, you say?
Partition -- Beyonce (Explicit Music Video)

Cold as Hell -- Marvelous 3

Este Noche -- Azealia Banks

End of Time -- Shakkapella (Beyonce Cover)
Enjoy the pics! Leave comments!