Monday, September 24, 2012

Samson was Kinky!

So I'm at McDonalds earlier today, and since I wasn't in the mood for waiting in that 7th level of Hell called a "drive-thru" lane, I decided to go in.

I'm on the phone with one of the other ministers from my church, so I wasn't really paying attention to the guy taking my order.

"Lemme get a... McDouble w/ extra onions and a Parfait, large fry w/no salt, and a Mango Smoothie" I barked to the McSlave, continuing my phone conversation.

Time came for him to hand me back my credit card and receipt.

I look up, and to my surprise-- this nigga is like, drop dead gorgeous!

He kinda favored Lil Scrappy (who I think is the cutest lil Thug McNugget in the world).

From that point on, I can't tell you whatever THE FUCK the minister was saying to me on the phone, so I told him to call me back,

I had flirting to do.

Dude's name-tag said his name was Samson. (mind you, its 2012, Samson is an old ass name for people born in like, the 50's n shit... that just makes this dude all the more interesting)

Me: Samson... I don't hear that name a lot up North...

Sam: yeah... I'm from Missouri... I go by Sam though.

Me: Well Sam, I'm [Cogito]. What brings you up North then?...

(before he could answer, the cock-blocking bitch behind me in line started ordering her food).

I decided to fall back and wait for my food to come up. It always takes a minute b/c they have to drop my no-salted fries fresh. (that's how you get em fresh and not the ones kept under the heat-light).

To pass the time, I started FaceBooking. Samson snapped me out of my FaceBook trance when he called my name.

[Cogito], you're up! Lemme get your parfait...

He turns around to the fridge, so naturally, I check him out from behind. And I like what I saw.

I was about to say something else to him, when suddenly, it hit me:

Nigga, you already GOT a man.

(sighs) damn.

Granted, it's not like I would cheat on Rob or anything.

If Rob found out that I even breathed at another nigga, he'd flip the fuck out. Like he usually does. Smh. -_-


After a deep, disappointing sigh, I chuck the dueces to Sam and leave.

I think he would've gave me more conversation if I stayed...


When I think about it, Samson in the Bible was a kinky mofo.

He was a long-haired, muscle-bound stallion who liked to be tied down; he even had a shaving fetish.

Seriously. Google it!

Drops of Jupiter -- Train (idky the lyrics always make me teary-eyed)

Heaven -- Jamie Foxx (same with this song here)

Hey There, Delilah --Plain White T's (Sampson, meet Delilah!)

Fireflies -- Owl City (This is my ISH!)
Enjoy the pics! (I found some BANGING booty shots!)


Monday, September 17, 2012

Tambourine Player

I think some stereotypes hold validation.

According to Tyler Perry (insert pun here),, and almost any black baptist church in the U.S. of A--

A "Tambourine Player" is a feminine acting man, one who usually directs the church choir.

(Granted, any grown man in church bopping a tambourine MUST expect attention)

Click Here and see what I'm talking about.

Back when I lived down south, the term was derogatory, but it didn't really matter.

I CLEARLY remember my old choir director getting into full-blown ARGUMENTS with other, um, Tambourine Players, when our churches would fellowship and combine choirs or whatever.

I guess even though it is derogatory, it is a term that is embraced by those brave ones who can't help but be their natural selves.

Hell, here I am up north, hearing the same stuff. I'm at a very young church (we'll be 5 years old next month) and my First Lady has been having the hardest of times forming a solid choir. She'll get one together for a good 3 or 4 months and after that, it's just the Praise Team again.

I said all of that to say: earlier today, at The Cracker Barell (is mine the only church that goes to eat in between services?)

I hear First Lady leaning over to one of the Praise Team singers, saying

"I wish we could get just ONE GOOD Tambourine Player to get us a choir together", laughter ensued.

I think it's a double-standard that gays are stigmatized in the church, yet, where would Black Churches be without a decent Tambourine Player to "usher the congregation into glory"?, as the self-proclaimed "deep" saints say.


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Freeze-Dried Romance

My favorite part of Drops of Jupiter (by Train) is

"Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone 
Conversation ". 

I wish love was like... Easy Mac. 

You can leave it on a forgotten shelf, 

in the back of a cupboard,

For like 2 years, 

And when you're ready for it, 

Just add water,


And stir. 

...if it turns out your Easy Mac wasn't all that easy, throw it away just as carelessly as it sat on your shelf... 


But Love ain't Easy Mac. 

And it damn-sho' ain't easy. -_-