Monday, February 10, 2014

Everybody's Boyfriend

Jay is 23 years old, 5'11, dark skinned, 170-ish pounds, ripped body, good grade of hair, and a triple threat: he can sing, act, and dance. One a scale of 1-10, he's about a...7 as far as how masculine he is. There's been whispers about him "swinging both ways"...

He's always flirting and in somebody's face, so me and my friend Maliika (from my Broken Hallelujah post) nicknamed him "Everybody's Boyfriend" and refer to him as such between us two.

He and I run into each other a lot at different functions and events. In passing, we exchange small talk, and have always had a kind of "yo...what's up" kind of  acquittance.

I never really "noticed" him.

As of November 2013, he's been frequenting the same  karaoke bar from my Operation: Infiltrate the Clique post.

He has the hots for my homegirl Maliika and be whispering in her ear about how he'd like to eat her out until her legs shake. She entertains him, but he honestly doesn't stand a chance with her. He's not her type.

One night, none of his friends showed up to  karaoke so he sat with me and Maliika. It was the first time I ever actually sat down and had conversation with him.

In said conversation, he more or less confirmed the rumors. He told us that he is attracted to people's "spirit", not their gender. When Maliika went up on stage to sing, it was just us two sitting there.

He leaned into the table and, in a hushed voice, asked me what my preference was, and has been hitting on me ever since.

Randomly showing me shirtless pics in his phone, telling me that I have a "classic handsome" style, getting on me for not facebooking or texting him enough, pointing out guys that he'd like to hit (or already has hit), asking me to "rate" guys in the bar, etc.

This all caught me by surprise because he'd never tried to make any moves on me before, and I never even thought of pursuing him.

I'm no dummy. I totally "get" what he's trying to do. But, here's the thing...

According to him, he can walk up to any chick he wants, and get some action. He usually does, actually. But when it comes to guys, he says "I don't go up to dudes cuz I don't have to. They come to me".

At the risk of sounding  judgmental, I kinda always thought he had a "Kanye West Complex", and that confirmed it.

He's cute and all, but...

Nigga, I'll be damned.

It's like, the more I ignore his advances, the more he throws at me. Plenty of dudes approach him so he's not used to "chasing" a guy.

I think he thinks I'm being hard-to-get.

But in real life, I'm really just being distant because...

I'm sooooo not into him "like that".

On top of all that, he told me that he doesn't even suck dick! "Naw, they suck me and jack their own selves off, I'm just a Top".

In the words of Lil Wayne "How she don't suck dick, but expect for me to eat her?". ((Click Here: Dick Pleaser by Lil Wayne)

In the words of the ratchet queen Khia: "You might roll dubs, you might have G's, but fuck that nigga, get on yo' knees!" ((Click Here: My Neck, My Back by Khia)


You mean to tell me that I'd have to go on a date, talk about HIM the whole time, get back to the house, suck HIS dick, and I don't even get a happy ending?

Hell, I probably couldn't even bless him w/my tongue game, which is major for me. I GOTS TA' put my face in it, idgaf if he's a total top or not, lemme taste them lil  Debbie  cakes, nigga.

Another thing: I am in no way turned on by the thought of Jay climbing my back. I mean...I guess I could, in theory. But he'd have to gimme some too...

Erykah Badu said it best: "Well hold up, listen POTNA' (partner), I ain't no cheap thrill!" (Click Here: Call Tyrone by Erykah Badu)

I may be wrong about him. And once he finally steps to me correctly, may even give him a shot. But that's not until he comes to me.

I don't want to sound egotistical, or stuck up,or nothing...

In the words of Beyonce: "Come harder, this won't be easy. Don't doubt yourself. Trust me, you need me". (Click Here: Upgrade U by Beyonce Ft. Jay-Z)

Stay tuned as this story develops,  y'all...

(I'll be damned if that new background picture ain't sexy as fuck!)
Music, you say?
XO -- Beyonce
Tom's Diner -- Susanne Vega
Just Hold On, We're Going Home -- Drake (Arctic Monkeys cover)
Days go By -- Dirty Vegas (Official Music Video)
Enjoy the pics! (excuse any typos)