Saturday, June 29, 2013

Matt, Back in Jail

Click the following link to catch up on (Matt, Fresh Out of Jail)

The short version:

When Matt first got out, of course his best friend (my lil brother) had a girl waiting for him.

That girl, let's call her... Toya.

Toya is my nephew's mother's best friend. (I know that sounds complicated, but... )


Matt was really into her. And she was too. Into her, that is.

No matter what Matt did to make her lil ass happy, she was never satisfied.

You know how it goes.

From what the streets are saying, Matt had went to go pick Toya up from her mom's house and some dudes were shooting dice in a nearby garage/drive-way or whatever.

Matt is one of those niggas with itchy fingers, always ready to gamble. Crazy thing is, my brother and him are the sorest losers this side of the Mississippi...

Some cops came and busted the dice game up because they followed Matt's ankle-bracelet thing for his house arrest.

Not only did Matt violate his house-arrest (Strike One)

He was caught gambling (Strike Two)

And three of the other dudes there were also on Parole (Strike Three)

Damn. They said he didn't even take off running when Five-Oh pulled up.
Hell. Where would he have ran to? They have a tracking device on him like some kind of squirrel...

I'm not sure how much time he's facing, when I am, I'll let ya'll know.

Smh. Matt is really a good guy, he just makes dumb ass decisions...

I think that time he spent in jail made him institutionalized.

It hurts me to say that the most structured discipline Matt has ever received is behind jail bars.

His story is like countless others in the hood.

...and Toya? That lil bitch was on FaceBook the other night talking about "Free My Baby Matt", on Monday, and changing her relationship status to "Single" but Thursday night.


Enjoy the pics!


...Isn't this first pic just, like, EVERYTHING???? Good Got-Dayumn, dat dude got CAKEZ...

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Harris, and advice to Anonymous

See what had happened was...

I've only met a few guys from off line before.

Harris makes the third or fourth one.

I met him off of Craigslist.

Which is waaayyy less sleazier than it sounds.

His post title read "Older For Younger"
His ad said he was 48 DL, Black Male, Happily Married, 10.5 uncut, Top

I responded to his ad, traded pics, and liked what we both saw.

BUT... At first, I was gonna do a post about Harris. I was gonna write about whether or not I should hook up with him because he's married and I don't wanna get involved in any drama and blah blah blah... Plus he had an uncut dick. Yuck. (No offense, if that's what you're into. But uncut cocks look... blah).

I actually had an entire post written about it when suddenly, it hit me:

I think about shit WAAAAYYYY too hard. From the game this dude was spittin', he clearly does this shit on the regular, the only one acting brand new about it is me.

Not only that, but my homeboy Immanuel over at Confessions of a Down Low Brother: The Sequel (blog) (click here) has ALLL the fun in the world with his lil sexcapades.

Plus it had been a minute since I had a real good dig-out.

While we were texting back and forth, trying to get a feel for each other, I ask him:

Me: if you could describe Sex in one word, what would it be?
Harris: (after a few minutes, I assume he was thinking...)
Me: (...)

I was about to resend message because I thought he didn't receive it.
When suddenly:

Harris: ...Rough. You?
Me: ... Verbal.

We met up on some of the most discreet, Secret Squirrel shit.

He pulled up next to me at a Walgreens parking lot a few streets up from his place. We actually don't even live that far from each other.

Dude was kinda cute in the pics we exchanged, but in person, he was Handsome. Not just fine. Handsome. He looked like... Ving Rhames with a lil' pudgy pot-belly.

There was this masculine quality to his demeanor that made my stomach drop. I saw him give me the once-over as we walked into the store, and he grinned...

After grabbing some provisions from the store, next thing I know, I'm trailing him back to his place.

He rolls up a L (weed) and after some chit-chat, it was time to do what we came there for.

I make a quick trip to the bathroom.

In there, I give myself one more check-up, make sure I'm good and clean, inside and out. I was still nervous as fuck, but it was too late to turn around.

I stepped out the bathroom with my shirt off, and saw his dick was sitting pretty, hanging out of his zipper. And that bitch was PRETTY.

You can fill in the blanks from here.

And that's when Rough Sex Much? happened.

Afterwards, we had Pillow-Talk (Pillow talk is the relaxed, intimate conversation that often occurs between two sexual partners after the act of coitus, usually accompanied by cuddling, caresses, etc.). 

Harris: In the past, there was a man I met up with on the regular. He wanted more from me than I was offering. It didn't end well. He couldn't just take what we had for what it was (purely platonic "Friends w/ Benefits"). I gotta good feeling about you though...

Me: Naw, I feel you. But you clearly must not know. You packin' something serious. Not just the dick, but you know how to USE it... I think that's what I like about older guys... I don't know about your other hook-ups, but I don't mind being a name in your lil' black book. Hell, I prefer it that way right now....

Harris: Has anyone ever told you that you have an "Old Soul"? ...

I went on to tell him that I don't usually meet up w/dudes like this. And he could tell. He saw my nerves at first. He went on to say how he only hooks up a few times every summer or so, when he has the house to himself. I told him he needs the house to himself more often!

I saw pictures on the walls of his family, but he didn't say anything, so I didn't ask.

We hit it off pretty well.

We still keep in touch via text.

I'm going to Kentucky in a few days, but before I do, I GOTTA get dicked down proper one more time for the road.

In my last post, I asked for people to hit me up with suggestions on topics to talk about in future posts. Relationship advice, sex fantasies, whatever.

A person, who has requested to remain anonymous, is in a conundrum.

Him and his boyfriend are madly in love and for the most part, they get along like a dream. The only thing is, Anonymous is Vers and despite his best efforts, his dude refuses to give up the booty. Its almost to the point where he feels like cheating on him with a guy just to get it out of his system.

In my humble opinion, "Total Tops" and "Total Bottoms" are some of the stalest mofoz out there. I get it; some people just have preferences, but if you really wanna enjoy all that the male anatomy has to offer, don't be so damn stingy.

In Anonymous' situation, I think it's a Power thing. His boyfriend would feel emasculated if his boo penetrated him. He won't even allow to be fingered.

But that is a selfish way of thinking.
If he really wants to satisfy Anonymous like he says he does, then he should give-in every once in a while.
Nobody is going to judge him.
There are plenty of well-respected Tops in the porn industry that have bottomed a few times.

Daddy (from DawgpPoundUSA),
Flex Deon-Blake (I've seen some old vintage scenes of him and Bobby Blake).
King (from DawgPoundUSA)
Slim Thug (from BreedItRaw)

the list goes on and on.

My suggestion is that if and when Anonymous can finally get his boyfriend to spread eagle, that he takes things slow. Anal Sex is terrible if it isn't comfortable. Start off slow. Rim. Foreplay. Relax. Maybe try a toy or two to break him in some.

Hell, you can even wait around for your birthday or Christmas and tell him you want some Ass as a present.

At the end of the day, what one person won't do, another one will.

Remember that.
Music, you say?

Azealia Banks -- Atlantis

Amy Winehouse -- Back to Black

Amerie -- One Thing

(I didn't intentionally mean to post songs from artists that start with "A", I'm just cool like dat. Bitches).


I've got a few more emails to read. Keep on sending 'em.

Enjoy the pics!


Monday, June 10, 2013

Fleshlights, Mr. Marcus, and Blogging Ideas

If you want it done right, sometimes you gotta' do it by your black ass self.

When this is the case, I strongly suggest you get yourself a decent Fleshlight or a Cock Sleave or a Pocket Pussy or something of that nature.

I have two of them: (see below)

The first one is my fleshlight. It is amazing. It came with these "bullets" that you place under the inside of the lips, it vibrates. At the far end of it, you can control the suction of it by how tight or loose you screw the top off. Just make sure you're home alone. All that suction is kinda loud, and nobody likes to get caught in the act. It's kinda bulky but that's to its advantage. If you really wanna have some fun, lube it up really well and position it in between the pillow-seat of your couch. You'll thank me later! A lot of guys use Fleshlights to build their penis-endurance and desensitize it by eliminating the ability to put the "death-grip" on your dick.

The second one is called a Stroker. I've had it for about a year or so now and I prefer it over the fleshlight, especially when I need to get my last few rocks off before rolling over and going to sleep and dream about Idris Elba.... With the stroker, you can grip your dick as firm or loose as you want. (I'm growing a woody just typing about it!)
Don't skeet-skeet just yet. Strokers are a great tool for Edging. On a good night, I can edge maybe 6 or 7 times before I can't take it anymore. IF YOU'VE NEVER BUSTED A NUT INSIDE ONE OF THESE, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT PERSONAL DICK-PLEASING!!! The inside of it is ridged with stimulators that rub and stroke you in crazy ways.

Dear, Mr. Marcus:

Dude, what. the. fucking. fuck? Why are you altering STD results to hide your Syphilis? Better yet, why would you STILL do scenes w/no condom, knowing DAMN well this bitch is finna' swallow an STD of yours? Nigga, did you need the money THAT damn bad?
It's kinda... creepy. I can't even j/o to you anymore b/c all I can think about is a picture of a diseased dick in my 7th grade reproductive health class.

Get your shit together.

Brian Pumper and I miss you. XoXoXo

Do any of ya'll have a topic that I should write about? I've got some drafts that I'm working on but they're nowhere near ready to publish. So in the meantime, gimme some suggestions and/or topics to write on...

Something else I wanna do is pick random people that follow this blog and interview them, after which, write a post on it.

Just a lil' brainstorming...

Music, you say?

Black and Gold by Sam Sparro

I'ma Read Dat Bitch by Zebra Katz

Vision of Love by Mariah Carey

Blow the Whistle by Too Short

Enjoy the pics!