Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Ex-Nicki Minaj Fan

*sighs*. Damn.

I've been a fan of Nicki since the 2007 Come Up years back when her lyrics were KILLER.

For example

"they heard about his good sexin', long erection, nice complexion, magnums for protection. They even heard about his tongue game. How the nigga give brain ain't stop til da cum came" -- Warning (Biggie Remix)


"I go hard. Pause. Hospital flow get more gauze. I'm a bad bitch on all fours. The president be like It's All Yours!" -- Sweet Dreams (Remix)

*sighs* back in those early days, she said fame wouldn't change her.

In all truth, I don't think she meant to lie about that. The more permission Hip Hop gave her, the more ridiculous she got.

And I get it. Young Money wanted to build a market around her rap capabilities: mission accomplished.

But establishing a brand and MAINTAINING customer loyalty, are two different things.

She hooked me as a fan when I heard Itty Bitty Piggy

I forgave her for Massive Attack

she CERTAINLY redeemed herself on that Monster feature (that verse ALONE proves what she's lyrically capable of and even converted a few non-believers over to her side).

"Pink wig, thick ass, give em whiplash. I think big. Get cash. Make em blink fast". Monster feature

Now she comes to every damn award show dressed up like EBT Barbie. -_-
And she's a slick bitch, too.

She eased the Pop genre on a nigga.

There I was, enjoying Your Love (ignoring the annoying ass hook)

when suddenly, *BAM*

Super Bass comes out. And the rapper in Nicki died.

10 Lace-Fronts and 17 song features later,
Nicki shits out that abortion of a song Stupid Hoe

"Disrespectful Hoe" is more like it.

At one point in time, yes, there was a valid argument that Nicki Minaj was the second coming of Lil Kim.

But damn it, Nikki, how many songs are you going to waste on calling Kim a "has-been"? WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME ON ROMAN'S REVENGE
And ONE MORE THING: (this is to Minaj directly)

how do you go from laying up next to pussy in your Warning video


fully explaining admitting you fucks with girls in your interview-

to denying bi-sexual/gay rumors? 

You were "out" when you were underground.

Why go back in the closet?

You said yourself back on the Roger That song that
"honey when you gettin' money you don't have a care".

And don't give me any bullshit about it "not fitting your image".

If anything, that makes you all the more versatile (no pun intended).

I know you're getting your money, regardless of what a blogger like me has to say.

But still...

I'm just disappointed is all...


Friday, October 19, 2012

Jockstraps and Timberlands

Seriously, this is my #1 fantasy.

To come home from class, open the door,

and a BAAAADDDDD Bitch,


King from Dawgpoundusa

is standing in the doorway.

Wearing nothing but a black jockstrap

and some old school Timberlands

*whoo* I get hot just thinking about it.

The Jockstrap can do wonders for the smallest of backsides. For those who have flat, shapeless asses, the Jockstrap provides a lift and gives a firm illusion.

For those who have plump, round "bubble butts", the Jockstrap compliments the curve of their waist and frames their cheeks in a way that makes me drool puddles.

Needless to say, I LOVE jockstraps. Funny thing is, I don't have any of my own.

Rob isn't really into them.

So for now, I'm stuck creeping around the internet looking for fetish pics of them. -_- smh.


Something MC's Can Kiss -- Uffie (it came on my Azealia Banks channel on Pandora last night and I fell in love with it).

Bad Karma -- Ida Maria (I'm a huge STAN of the Scream franchise. This played at the end of Scream 4 and the rest is history).

I Can Do That Too -- Lulu Tsunami (for obvious reasons)

Rainy Night in Georgia -- Brook Benton (don't judge me!)

Its So Hard -- Big Pun (hardcore you can dance to!)

What're some weird turn ons of yours?

Enjoy the pics!


Monday, October 8, 2012

Bullet In My Ass (Literally)

I'll spare you the details of how or why this past Saturday made 8 consecutive days without me having aaaannnnnyyyyyy alone time with Rob.

Just know that I wasn't about to go 9 days. -_-

After church on Sunday (10/7), I went over to Rob's house to have lunch like we had planned.

As I pull up, I see him in the doorway signing for a package. He has an extensive Martin Scorsese collection so I figured it was another damn Blu-Ray box set or something.

Turns out, it was a Vibro-Pink Lady-Touch Fleshlight.

And boy, lemme tell you, that bitch is TIGHT! It was squeezing my dick but it hurt, so I was over it.

Rob couldn't get enough and it was hot watching him work it.


He didn't like the vibrating bullets in it, so he took them out.

I got the bright idea to (gosh, this is so embarrassing) have Rob put two of them bitches inside me.

At first, it was awesome. The deeper he went in me, the deeper they vibrated. We shifted around so I could ride him, and as I stood up, it felt like one of them stopped vibrating.

Rob: how do you know?

Me: I think I'd know if a fucking BULLET stopped vibrating inside of me.

Rob: Well lemme see if I can turn it back on...

(translation: get back on dis dick and be happy about it)

I will say, that nigga did his thug-THIZZLE though!

 (You ever had some so good you just have to sit back and stare at it?)

*whooooo* he was up IN dat mofo.

So much in fact, the OTHER one stopped vibrating.


There I am, getting dicked DOWN and all I can think of is how I basically have two tiny robots stuck inside me.

It was really killing the mood.

Meanwhile, Rob is oblivious (as usual) and fogging up my ear breathing all hard...

He likes to be the last one cumming so he started stroking mine until I bust all on his belly.

Then he raised up and put his tongue down my throat. That's when I know he's almost there.

He must've been edging all day because when he finally came, he bust a damn WALNUT in the trojan.

Afterwords, he was trying to spoon but I reminded him that I have TWO FUCKING ROBOTS in my ass.

He thought it was hilarious.

I tried to push them out, and they wouldn't come.

He's outside the bathroom door, on the floor, in TEARS from laughing so hard.

I'm cussing him out and laughing too.

It was really, really stupid.

After another 10 or 15 minutes of this, I started getting lightheaded so I was like fuck it, when they come out, they come out.

I cleaned myself up and we went in the den to watch Goodfellas (Rob's on a mission to make me fall in love with Scorsese).

After a while, the two bullets naturally came out on their own.


It was pretty effing ridiculous...

Music, you say?

Wishing on a Star -- (Beyonce Cover)

Fuck Faces -- Scarface (and a whole bunch of other niggas)

Not Tonight -- Elle Varner

Just the Way You Are -- Bruno Mars (Music Video)


Enjoy the pics, ya'll!



Monday, October 1, 2012

One Year Left!

As the summer comes to a close, a few churches are scrambling to do their last few youth events and such. I get a call a few weeks back, asking me to speak at this event like 45 minutes or so out of town.

I was like "Well Soitinly!" (in my archie bunker voice).

That event was this past Sunday, on 9/30

Of course, before I go up to preach, I'm in the back of that church pastor's office, studying my notes and whatnot.

I had a few extra minutes before going up into the pulpit, so I check my voicemail (for once in my life).

among crazy messages from Rob's bi-polar ass, granny's nosy ass, and my father's begging ass,
there was a voicemail from Patti, my academic adviser.

According to her, I'm ROCKING my GPA and in two months, will qualify to enter the Accelerated Bachelor's Degree.

It's a year long, non-stop, 3 night a week program,

but if I buckle down in my studies (and possibly test out of a few credits)

I'll be crip-walking across the stage this time next year!


This, my friend, is the crip walk (click here)

Music, you say?

I Feel Good All Over -- Stephanie Mills  (i just discovered this song on Rob's iPad, and I LOVE it!)

He's Mine -- Mokenstef (the lyrics say it all!)

So Anxious -- Genuine

We Belong Together -- Mariah Carey

Halo -- Beyonce (acoustic version)   (she SLAYS this!)