Saturday, April 21, 2012

My Barber (and the reason I can't wear sweatpants on Wednesdays)

I'm absolutely convinced that my barber puts his dick on my shoulder.

On purpose.

If you go to the barbershop for those weekly fresh-cuts, then you know that awkward moment when you have to get THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP IN A (BLACK) MAN'S HAIRCUT-- the hair line.

The barber has to stand in front of your face in order to maximize the precision.

And if you're lucky, your barber has a preeettyyyy nice package to keep you entertained.

I'm one of those lucky ones.


Plus he's fine as fuck. We used to work together waaaayyyy back in like, 9th grade and I didn't really pay him much attention. But now that we're older, time has BLESSED this nigga with good looks and from what I'm guessing (hoping), some great dick.

It's time like these when I'm like "damn... the ONE time I'm in a serious ass relationship..."


I get my hair cut twice a week. On Saturday mornings I go and get my high-top shaped up. On Wednesdays, before bible study, I go to get my hair lined up. Today, I thought it would be a good idea to throw on some sweatpants and just tell the world how much I don't give a fuck about what I'm wearing.

I quickly regretted this decision when it came time for me to stand up and pay for my hair cut.

I had been fantasizing about his dick all through my hair cut (as usual) and had grown quite the woody (as usual).

I know how to "talk my dick down" when in public. A skill that any man with a pulse knows how to do.

But when he took the barber-cape from around my neck, reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

"aw hell, with these damn sweatpants, if I stand up, I'm gonna put somebody's eye out"...

So I had to play my emergency "go over my hairline with a razor" card. That way, I'd be nice and flaccid by the time he was done.

Crisis averted.

My final cut came out nice though. The sun was shining through my blinds just right so I decided to take this dramatic ass pic below.

Azealia Banks -- 212 I just found this song/vid tonight and I'm in LOVE. Hopefully you'll be as well. <3

(excuse any typos, I'm feeling lazy today)



  1. LOL, you are crazy. And some barbers DO flirt and rub up against you.


  2. Damn, nice ass in the pics kid! Ow. Whose banging ad waiting hole is that second from the top? :D

    2 haircuts a week? That is crazy talk. Shit! Sounds like bank. You rocking a red stripe in that bad ass head of hair? Looks good! Be well.

  3. Wonder what would happen if you was single

  4. @Immanuel-- ikr!

    @Flowers-- Lol, no bank! it's 5 for a lining and 10 for a shape up.Expensive? Maybe. Imperative? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY! lol and thanks! It's honey-blonde

    @Gayte-- the world may never know!