Wednesday, November 28, 2012

5 Fetishes I Will Never Understand

As of my last Porn Data Backup last night, I officially have around 1100+ full porn scenes/movies and around 3500 pics or so. Don't judge me. I've been collecting ever since I started this blog a few years ago. When I like a scene I am watching, I open it up in Internet Explorer and download it to my RealPlayer folder, to enjoy at my own horny leisure.

Ya'll know how I feel about stupid Watersport porn, but if the scene is hot enough, I will still download it (and just skip through the R. Kelly Golden Shower parts). I do the same thing for Fisting scenes.

So there: I DO have some tolerance when it comes to things I'm not really "into".

However, there are some things out there that I find, well, BIZARRE as hell.

In no particular order, are 5 of the dumbest fetishes I've ever come across in my Blogging career.

(no offense if I make fun of a fetish that you happen to be into...)


1. Cigars/Smoking

Sometimes, when I'm in the mood for a little bit of leather/bondage type of porn, I'll go to, say, Tube8.com and use the search engine. (click here) to see my favorite one. It's an interracial scene with two big beefy cops, one white, one black, both HOT. But what I don't get, is why they feel the need to blow cigar smoke on each other and punch each other in the chest? (check out the video-still below).

Moreover, people get their kicks out of watching clips like this on YouTube (click here).






2. Diaper Fetish

So you ran out of sugar and you go next door to borrow a cup from a neighbor. As you're waiting in their front door, you look down and notice a box of Huggies diapers in the corner. You think nothing of it at first. Until you get home and remember that your neighbor doesn't even have any children. Then why the HELL do they have a box of diapers? They may just have a fucking DIAPER FETISH (click here).

I remember one time on Xtube I was surfing around and came across this black guy with a diaper fetish. His diaper had the Pixar Cars cartoons on them. The same ones that I buy for my 2 year old nephew. Like, wtf do people get out of that?

File:DiaperFetishism.png



3. Balloon Fetish

Speaking of my nephew, I took him to a birthday party a few months back, and as any 2 year old's birthday party, there were balloons there. HELLA balloons. I wonder if any of the adults there had a thing for balloons? This fetish is weird enough, but according to this episode of Taboo on YouTube (click here) people even get a kick out of blowing them up, and popping them. Remind me never to bring a "Looner" (as they call themselves) to the party store. While I'm in the back grabbing the Bacardi, this guy will be up front  jacking off to a picture of Bozo making balloon animals... -_- wtf...




4. Red Head (Ginger) Fetish

Really? A bitch's hair color turns you on? Ronald Weasely makes your heart flutter? I'm kinda into guys with a little bit of body hair. Not some sasquatch/werewolf kind of hair, but a guy with a decent amount of fuzz is always appreciated. But in all honesty, I can't even watch porn with Red Heads in it. Their carpets match the drapes, and I've never really had a craving for something with red hair in my mouth. But to each, his own...

This bitch on YouTube (click here) has 3 minutes and 57 seconds of bad makeup, a red haired wig, smoking a cigarette, and listening to "Turn Me On" by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj, for good measure. Its like everything I DON'T want in a youtube video...



5. Wrestling
So there I am, enjoying some awesome Leather porn on Pornhub.com and everything is going well. The guys are hot, the scene is on fire, and I'm right at the brink of an orgasm. When suddenly, the bottom turns around from his reverse-cowboy position, looks the Top in his eyes, and PUNCHES HIM IN THE CHEST. What the fuck?

I get how it can be hot for guys to crawl all over each other with that physical, rough, masculine energy. Wearing nothing but a Speedo and leather boots. THAT, my friend, is a turn-on of mine.

But damn, at least with Kinkmen.com their oil wrestling leads to actual fucking.

But what about those clips floating around the internet, the ones where they do oil wrestling (sometimes they're even naked) but they don't lead to fucking. THEY JUST SLAM THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER. I know rough sex is the best sex, but damn. Don't put ME in a Full-Nelson! You can pin me down, but don't mollywhop me in the chest. I have asthma, okay? It's all fun and games until you have to tell the ambulance how my asthma attack was induced by a haymaker to the chest...


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What are some of the fetishes out there that YOU don't understand?
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Cocaine -- Gin Wigmore

If You're Not The One -- Daniel Beddingfield

O -- Ciara
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Capricornaries@hotmail.com

Enjoy the pics!
(I must say, these pics are getting better and better. I gotta dig into my Pic Vault more often!)

Excuse any typos, I don't feel like editing :/

-_Cogito
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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Thanksgiving, thanks for giving a damn...

Hey hey hey! I gotta be real quick because I'm on kitchen duty tonight at granny's house. At the last minute, she decided to pull a turkey out of her ass and cook it so those once no-dinner-this-year crap is out the window.

Anywho.

I wanted to wish you and yours a happy thanksgiving holiday.

Mine is gonna suck because my bae can't even be with me :(

I was going to kinda sneak him in by inviting him, with like 4 other friends, to thanksgiving dinner.

But no.

He's flying out west to be with his mom. *sighs* thank God for Skype...

I dropped him off at the airport earlier.

And gee whiz, he broke me off w/some HELLA

"I'm gonna miss you" sex. If I smoked cigarettes, I would've went through a whole pack!

But yeah...

Happy Holidays, drive safe, drink responsibly, and put a plate up for me.

Feel the Fire -- Stephanie Mills

I've Learned To Respect The Power Of Love -- Stephanie Mills

Promise -- Ciara

U Got It Bad -- Usher

Yo (Excuse Me Miss) -- Chris Brown

Enjoy the pics! (I went into my Favorite folder and found ya'll some nuggets to get you through the week).

-_Cogito

Capricornaries@hotmail.com