Newsflash: Grandpa was Bi

Last night, I couldn't sleep.

It was one of those nights where my thoughts were speeding at 150 mph.

My mind jumped around from random topics:

1. Repaying the damn 266$ they over payed me in Financial Aid
2. Was that Rob's car I saw parked outside of BP last week?
3. ...I'm so fucking out of shape...
4. Wait. Krispy Kreme is 24 hours, right?


After finally reaching that threshold betwixt sleep and awake, my bladder kindly reminded me I had to pee.

Damn. Just when I was getting comfortable.

While standing there in the bathroom, it reminded me of this one time when I was like 10 years old.

The bathroom was overflowing in his house so my grand dad told me, and I quote:

"You're a man. Go outside and pee. Don't let anyone see you".

Idk why, but that's just like a random memory I have of him.

When I was 13, he passed away due to Asthma complications, around the Thanksgiving season. That happened at the end of November. By that following January, my mother had passed away as well from a heart-related condition.

With both deaths being so close together, I just NOW realized that I've spent so much time grieving my mother's death, that I've yet to really deal with my Grandfather being gone.

From what I remember, both my grandparents were very cordial to each other, but my grandma had divorced his ass wayyyy before I was even thought about.

It dawned on me that I never really did know the reason why granny divorced my grandfather.

So, out of curiosity, I inquired my grandmother on the matter.

Me: you know... now that I'm older, I don't think anyone has ever told me the reason why you and grandpa divorced all those years ago...

Granny: Aww... hell. It wasn't a secret... Remember Mr. Reginald?

Me: ...that one soldier dude that fought with Grandpa in the Vietnam War? I remember all the nights when his whole back porch was full of comrades playing dominoes, spades, and having a good time... What about him?

Granny: ...Reginald wasn't just his comrade, Reginald was your grandfather's "freak", as he called it.

Me: ...my grandfather's...freak? What's that supposed to mean?

Granny: Years and years after we divorced, word got out that Reginald and him had occasional..."parties" with women. And when the women weren't around, they had no problem taking care of each other. Sex was just "sex" to him, regardless of who he had it with.

Me: !!!!!!!!!???????

Granny: Don't get me wrong. Your grandfather was madly in love with me, and had a strong attraction to women. But I guess there were things that I couldn't give him. On top of that, Larry (my grandpa's name) was a sweet, sweet man. But he was also crazier than cat-shit. He was a changed man when he came back from fighting in that Vietnam war.

Remember that big hole in the wall upstairs in our house on the south side? One day I was coming in from church and Larry was whooping your mother with a belt so hard, the chandelier was shaking. I tried to fight him off of her but he just threw me over the couch. I ran into the room and grabbed his shotgun. I didn't know anything about how to shoot it but I gave him one last chance to get off of her. He didn't. So I pulled the trigger.

The barrel ricocheted when I fired it and threw me back from the recoil, throwing my aim off. Instead of going through his back, it hit the wall.

If it wasn't for that, you would've never known either one of us because Larry would be dead, and I would be in prison to this very day, gladly serving a life-sentence.

That's the reason why your mother never believed in taking a belt to you or your brother.

Oh, that. And Larry used to like me to spank him sometimes too...

Me: Okay, okay, okay! Please don't give me a mental image of grandpa bent over your lap... So basically, grandpa was some Vietnam shell-shocked undercover freak. Is that why ya'll divorced?

Granny: Don't disrespect your grandfather like that. Actually, no. I wasn't aware of what he was "into" until after he left me for my best friend at the time, a woman named Celestine, Reginald's wife.

Me: Omg, I bet that hurt...

Granny: that was a lifetime ago... Yeah baby, your grandpa had a "thing" for men. We had been divorced for some years before it finally came out. When it did, he didn't deny it. You remember how he was, don't you?

Your grandpa ain't have no shame in his game.

With all these things considered, apparently the "freak" in me must be hereditary or something. I wonder if I'll ever be as bold as Grandpa to embrace my sexuality and DARE a bitch to judge him for it...I remember times when he would answer the door stark-naked as the day he was born. 

In fact, now that I think back, I saw my first porno tape at his house. 

He had left a video tape on his dresser drawer one day when I was there alone at his house and I couldn't WAIT to put it in the VCR. 

I don't remember the scene itself; but I DO know that Sean Michaels was in it because that is the moment I fell in love with his work...

Trying to cover my tracks, I made sure to put it in the EXACT position on his dresser. Just in case. 

Later on that evening, when my grandpa called me into his room. I walked in and saw him holding the tape in his hand, grinning. 

I was scared as hell. I thought he was gonna go Amanda-Bynes crazy on me. 

Before I could open my mouth, he said: 

"Next time, make sure you rewind the tape to where it was when it started playing. That way, nobody knows..."

Damn. Now my tough ass is getting all teary-eyed. 

This post is for you, granddad. I love you. I miss you. And I think you'd be proud to read my blog. 

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Music, you say?

Here's a few songs I remember he used to play at his house during get-togethers...

Atomic Dog -- George Clinton

Sweet Love -- Anita Baker

Giving You The Best That I've Got -- Anita Baker

Love's Holiday -- Earth, Wind, and Fire

When Doves Cry -- Prince
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Enjoy the pics!
-_Cogito
Capricornaries@hotmail.com
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My First Gloryhole

I've been in Louisville for about a week and a half. I’m hitting the highway tonight on my way back home around 4 am to avoid the heavy traffic. It's only like a 5 hour drive from Ky to where I live in Michigan. 

In the meantime, I wanna take a lil second and fill ya'll in on this lil' sexcapade I had... 

When I lived in Louisville, I was too young to enter inside any adult book store and even if I was, I wouldn't have had the balls to do it. 

Sex shops were such an uncharted territory at the time, I dreaded running into someone I knew in there or someone see me going in/coming out. 

You know how it is.

Last Monday, on my first night here, it suddenly clicked in my head that I can indeed take my 23 year old self into an adult book store and do the damn thang.

So I did.

When I went in, I thought I was just gonna buy a Stroker or something and be on my way.

But I saw a few guys kept coming in and out of a room with a neon XXX Theater sign on the door.

Curious, I tried to open the door but had to pay a 10$ fee for the guy at the counter to buzz me in.

In my mind, I’m thinking about all the porn I've seen with Peepshow themes so even though I didn't know what to expect, my expectations were high.

Soon as I walk into the XXX Room, the smell of sweaty balls hit my face.

And not in a good way.

Although it IS illegal to whip it out in public, I guess it doesn't apply to adult theaters because

men were in there jacking their dicks like it was going out of style. 

There were even courtesy rolls of tissue on the side table of every couch to, um, 

“clean up what you’ve made”, according to the sign posted under the t.v.  

-_-

It caught me off guard for a second.

I find me a little spot on one of the leather couches and since I was in Rome, I started doing what the Romans did, if you know what I’m saying…

Some older white guy with grey hair and bifocals peeped me when I walked in and as soon as I sat down, he came over to my couch.  I will refer to him as “Father Time”.

After giving him no protest about sitting on my couch, I saw him slowly scooting over to me.

I still gave him no protest.

Faster than you can say “Mr. Marcus gives his co-stars Syphilis on purpose”,

he started jerking my dick. I reached over and returned the favor.

It was kinda hot. A few guys stopped watching the t.v. and started watching us.

Everything was going swimmingly.

After a few minutes, Father Time decided it would be a good idea to turn over on his back and tell me to suck his balls.

*record scratch*

You don’t just throw your ass in the air like that and command a stranger to suck your balls. On top of that, he didn't smell too fresh down there anyway.

 “Aw HELL naw!” I said to him.

He asked me again, and I told him NO again.

Accepting the fact that I wasn't “about that life”, Father Time shrugged his shoulders and left me.

At this point, I wasn't even in the mood anymore and besides,

the little bitch on the t.v. screen was obnoxious. 

She sucked dick like it was a pack of Sour Skittles and kept saying shit like 

“Ooohh baby, gimme that penis. Ooooh daddy, you like when I lick her vagina?”

-_-

As I approach the exit, I see Father Time bobbing his head in the lap of some Italian looking dude.

In fact, it was a pretty nice mix of guys in there. 10 or 15 altogether, including me. It reminded me that there are truly some freaks in this world, so I'm in good company. 

I've always kinda been into the whole "seedy, underground" thing but never experienced it until then. 

…........................

They also had the private peep show booths. The machine takes 1, 5, 10, and 20 dollar bills. According to how much you pay, you get a certain amount of time to watch a scene in the booth. 

I checked out a few of them and realized that I have better porn on my laptop.

On the plus side, the booth I was in just happened to have a Gloryhole in the wall by the chair of the booth.

I pay my toll and some generic ass gay porn scene popped up on the screen.

Halfway through me choking the chicken, I heard someone enter the booth on the left side of mine.

After a few minutes, I heard him turn the volume up on the scene in his booth. 

Next thing I know, some white guy’s dick is dangling through the Gloryhole on my side of the wall.

Call me an uppity nigga all you want, but I’m not about to just suck some random guy’s dick. Especially if I don't even know what he looks like. 

I did, however, stroke it for him. Clearly he'd been edging for a while because when he came, he CAME.

When it was my turn, I wiped his cum onto my dick and he sucked it so good my knees damn near buckled.

I could hear him  slurping and moaning when I bust in his mouth.

I couldn't take it anymore; I had to pull away from the Gloryhole.


I'm not one of those guys that can pull out, bust, and then go back in.

My head is HELLA sensitive when I bust.

Especially when I'm up in some gushy gushy wet wet...

*sighs*

I didn't get a chance to go back because I got busy doing promo work for my poetry and stuff, but I've got enough material in my Spank Bank to last me until the end of next month (August 2013) when I go back for a show I’m featuring at…

Other than that, I had fun during my trip to Louisville. I forgot how weak I am for a good old country-fried Southern man.

I’m kinda mad that I lost my accent b/c I’ve been up North for so long...
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Music, you say?

I'm Still in Love -- Tina Marie

Good Man -- Raphael Saadiq

Yours -- Shai

Bad Karma -- Ida Maria

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Oh, another thing, to my fellow bloggers: 
Make sure to backup your blog again. 
Google is on some fuck-shit and shutting down gay porn blogs left and right. 
I'm backing mine up after I'm done publishing this post. 

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Enjoy the pics! 
Capricornaries@hotmail.com
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