Monday, October 8, 2012

Bullet In My Ass (Literally)

I'll spare you the details of how or why this past Saturday made 8 consecutive days without me having aaaannnnnyyyyyy alone time with Rob.

Just know that I wasn't about to go 9 days. -_-

After church on Sunday (10/7), I went over to Rob's house to have lunch like we had planned.

As I pull up, I see him in the doorway signing for a package. He has an extensive Martin Scorsese collection so I figured it was another damn Blu-Ray box set or something.

Turns out, it was a Vibro-Pink Lady-Touch Fleshlight.

And boy, lemme tell you, that bitch is TIGHT! It was squeezing my dick but it hurt, so I was over it.

Rob couldn't get enough and it was hot watching him work it.


He didn't like the vibrating bullets in it, so he took them out.

I got the bright idea to (gosh, this is so embarrassing) have Rob put two of them bitches inside me.

At first, it was awesome. The deeper he went in me, the deeper they vibrated. We shifted around so I could ride him, and as I stood up, it felt like one of them stopped vibrating.

Rob: how do you know?

Me: I think I'd know if a fucking BULLET stopped vibrating inside of me.

Rob: Well lemme see if I can turn it back on...

(translation: get back on dis dick and be happy about it)

I will say, that nigga did his thug-THIZZLE though!

 (You ever had some so good you just have to sit back and stare at it?)

*whooooo* he was up IN dat mofo.

So much in fact, the OTHER one stopped vibrating.


There I am, getting dicked DOWN and all I can think of is how I basically have two tiny robots stuck inside me.

It was really killing the mood.

Meanwhile, Rob is oblivious (as usual) and fogging up my ear breathing all hard...

He likes to be the last one cumming so he started stroking mine until I bust all on his belly.

Then he raised up and put his tongue down my throat. That's when I know he's almost there.

He must've been edging all day because when he finally came, he bust a damn WALNUT in the trojan.

Afterwords, he was trying to spoon but I reminded him that I have TWO FUCKING ROBOTS in my ass.

He thought it was hilarious.

I tried to push them out, and they wouldn't come.

He's outside the bathroom door, on the floor, in TEARS from laughing so hard.

I'm cussing him out and laughing too.

It was really, really stupid.

After another 10 or 15 minutes of this, I started getting lightheaded so I was like fuck it, when they come out, they come out.

I cleaned myself up and we went in the den to watch Goodfellas (Rob's on a mission to make me fall in love with Scorsese).

After a while, the two bullets naturally came out on their own.


It was pretty effing ridiculous...

Music, you say?

Wishing on a Star -- (Beyonce Cover)

Fuck Faces -- Scarface (and a whole bunch of other niggas)

Not Tonight -- Elle Varner

Just the Way You Are -- Bruno Mars (Music Video)


Enjoy the pics, ya'll!




  1. I guess I Won't be using a bullet any time soon lol

  2. damn! That is some freaky shit Kid! I think I told you my guy had a cucumber up him and came over for some "moral" support and to take a bath while I went to buy him some "take a shit" pills. Looked it up online, and apparently it's considered a boring night in the Emergency Room if someone doesn't come in with something all up in them. Be careful! Ha! Take care.

  3. Dude that was too funny! And sexy too. You and Robb sound like a cool couple. And I'm glad everything worked out in the end.

    P.S. I'm a Scorcese fan too!

  4. Getting dicked down with bullets, SKILLS!

  5. @Musiq-- it's all fun and games until someone gets a magic bullet stuck inside of them!

    @Flowers-- heeeeellllll naaaawwww!!!! Hilarious!

    @Immanuel-- yeah man he can be a mofo when he wants to, but thats my boo :) and yeah, Scorcese ain't half bad...

    @Gayte-Keeper-- bom chicka wah wah!