Thursday, April 14, 2011

Don't Be A Pussy!

She’s HELLA thick! About 5’6” she doesn’t have much going for her in the chest area but she has an ass to be rivaled with. And I’m not exaggerating just for the sake of it—I mean, she can tell Beyonce’ to redefine Bootylicious! And omg, her shoe game is on point as well. She has more stilettos than the law allows! For my birthday, she’s the one who organized all of the friends, bought all of the drinks, etc. The outfit she wore that night even gave ME a woody, and we all know how gay I am… smh…

She’s the one I talk about in my PreDICKament  post a while back. 

She’s one of my closest friends and I love her to death!

BUT>>>

Okay, well, after the club, we all went out to IHOP. And blah blah blah, we had a great time and all that. We sat across from each other and she kept playing footsies with me under the table. Now, this was annoying to me for many reasons but I didn’t stop her. Idky… So, the night goes on and she’s like “do you have your phone with you? Because I’ve been texting you for a while…” I was still drunk and fumbled in my back pocket for my phone. I opened up the text message and this is what it read verbatim:

“Happy Bday [Cogito]. Let’s cut the bull. I’ma give you some Pussy for yo Bday…”

*sighs* 

Many different things ran through my mind. This ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPENS TO ME!! Whenever a woman and I get mad cool with each other, somehow she always ends up wanting to jump my bones! I MEAN, THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHIT THAT STRAIGHT MEN DREAM OF, RIGHT? They can have it. Women have always felt comfortable coming to me for advice and stuff but it never fails… And then, when you turn them down, they’re like ????

Anyway, this was all a set up because she made me leave my car at the Poetry Spot so I HAD to crash at her house. Damn. So, I look up from my screen after reading the text message and she’s being coy. Continuing on with the convo of the table as if nothing ever happened. I didn’t miss a beat. Although I’m not straight, I’m sure many of the same rules still apply: mind games, lies, tricks, etc.

It’s like, I can attract very good women who will hold me down and provide all the things I’m looking for (and willing to give) in a relationship, BUT I CAN’T FIND A HALF-WAY DECENT GUY THAT’S NOT EITHER A HOE, LIAR, ATTENTION-WHORE, GOLD DIGGER, OR SOME COMBINATION OF THEM ALL!

And I even date Fems! That’s the thing! Like, I actually kinda like a guy with a lil “sugar in his tank” as the old folks used to say, lol. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into Trannies or nothing like that though. And it’s not that I’m saying I’m not into “M” at all—she’s everything I could ask for in a spouse—but she’s a WOMAN! I’m GAY! That just doesn’t fly.

…so to save a lot of drama, I just sobered up and acted like I never received the text message and told her I was sober enough to drive home... 

I’m a total Pussy, I know. But hearts are some pretty delicate objects; especially women’s. 

Hell, if I just came flat-out and told her I was gay, she wouldn’t believe me anyway (unless I showed her this blog, lol). 

She’d probably just think it was an excuse to not sleep w/her because she’s unattractive or something. Far from it, girl. I’m just gay!

Of one thing I am certain: I care about her way too much to just string her along like this.
I think I'm going to have to let her know how I am.
I just hope it doesn't strain our relationship.
And if it does, won't that mean she was just trying to fuck me from day 1? 

*sighs* I need a drink…

Enjoy the pics!

P.S. If you’re not a Lil Wayne fan, it’s only because you haven’t heard Six Foot Seven. My gift to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRWgmWwNoQQ

Capricornaries@hotmail.com

--Cogito













7 comments:

  1. Cogito: You did the right thing. Ignore her come-ons. Because fucking a woman is not like fucking a man.

    You are right. Generally women become more emotionally attached to a man they are having sex with, although there are exceptions.

    So you are not being a pussy.

    Just keep being her friend and keep your boundaries and she will get the drift (unless she is the type of woman who thinks her pussy is magical and can make you straight).

    P.S. My lover/partner "Morgan" says you should tell her you are interested in somebody else. Don't identify the gender...just keep her guessing. That is a way to get her off your back. And Morgan likes your hot pics, keep them coming.

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  2. First off, please get out of my head. Please, and thank you. LoL

    But seriously, this has to be one of the most awkward situations. I'm bisexual (an 85:15 bisexual), however, if I have sex with a girl I have to be very serious about her. I don't want random sex from girls like I do guys.

    Like Immanuel said, a woman's heart is very delicate, and I am a strong believer in karma. I come across a ton a girls that are interested in me, but my conscience won't allow me to play over a nice female I have no intentions on taking serious.

    I commend you for doing the right thing.

    *85:15 Bisexual- 85 percent of my attention is on males, the other 15 percent is on females.

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  3. @ Immanuel-- many chicks have the Magic Pussy syndrome! They swear it can make a Nukka act right, turn a gay guy straight, cure cancer, world peace, etc.

    Although I do want to try pussy one day. No time soon, but...

    Thanks for the support, your advice is always so helpful ;)
    Tell Morgan I say thanks and I'll certainly keep that nugget in case I need it <3

    @ Trey-- thanks man, I really wanna see what all the hype is about on Pussy. But as of right now, I kinda like it over here at this Sausage Party lmao ;)
    I totally believe in Karma. If I just perpetuated this thing, the Universe would sooo come and bite me in the ass. I can see it now, Idris Elba leaving me at the alter or something, smh! Lol


    And yeah, I got out my Gay Calculator and crunched the numbers!

    --Cogito

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  4. Ok I'm confused though. You said that you can't find a guy that isn't half-way descent and listed "hoe" as a factor in what makes a guy anything other than.
    But aren't you a hoe though? I mean no offense but maybe I'm misunderstanding but you've had a bunch of men from what I understand and that kinda makes you easy.
    For someone like me who isn't a hoe at all and actually refuses to sleep around because of my best friend I've named SelfRespect, I must say that it's a bit strange for a hoe to expect someone who isn't a hoe to just magically spring up and be interested. A tad bit hypocritical if you ask me.

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  5. @ Anom-- its not that deep. Im not the most difficult person to get in the bed, but there certainly is a process. I dont fuck out of necessitty. I dont fuck out of some low self respect syndrome. I fuck because it feels good, flat out. I've had "easy" moments but hoes just sleep with the first negro that buys them a drink (which I never understood, they're supposed to do that!) And even if I were just the textbook definition of a hoe, why on earth would I want to date another? In fact, since I started this blog, I've only had a handful of guys. I turn down way more than I let in.

    I dont expect a decent guy to "magically spring up". I'm not that young or naive. But I do know that I must work on me before I even think about a relationship.

    --Cogito

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  6. Telling her you are "seeing someone else" is going to work for about 5 seconds, or until she asks you who it is. If you "love" her so much, it's hard to see why you are leading her on and letting her make a fool out of herself, which she will undoubtedly feel like in the long run. Cut your losses, and come out to her. This is maybe the only situation you've written about where you haven't been up front with who you really are. Yeah, your friendship will probably cool off for a month or so, but if you both care about each other, the friendship will come back. She'll realize that you had a tough time telling her, but the sooner the better in my opinion.

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  7. I admit I'm in the wrong on this one. Its not like I enjoy the situation at hand, which is why I wrote this post. My life is a flippin soap opera. If i were being selfish, I would just continue to gloat in vanity and lead her on. But I had that happen to me before, i know how it feels, and I wouldnt want her (or anyone) to endure such a thing. I am truly considering her feelings. Hell, I know what I'm doing when it comes to men. Women speak an entirely different language to me. So as I translate, i beg your forgiveness if (and when) I screw up.

    --Cogito

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